Should I File For Divorce First? Pros and Cons to Consider

Deciding to end a marriage is never an easy decision, and the thought of initiating the divorce process can be overwhelming. One question that often arises in these situations is whether to file for divorce first. This decision can have several implications for both parties involved, financially and emotionally.

In this article, we will explore some pros and cons of filing for divorce first, giving you knowledge to make a more informed decision for yourself. Although every situation is unique, understanding some general considerations can provide clarity on making such a significant life choice.

“Some couples mutually agree that their marriage has broken down while others are caught off guard by one spouse’s desire to pursue separation.”

This article aims to give insights into factors like legal advantages and disadvantages of filing for divorce first, potential repercussions on property division, custody battle, emotional well-being, and finances. We hope the information presented here will help ease your mind and help you decide what action may be most appropriate for your situation.

A family law attorney can assist you with navigating the ins and outs of the divorce process, including the initial filing. Understanding the benefits and drawbacks of being the first party to file for divorce can be beneficial when it comes time to negotiate child custody arrangements, spousal or child support payments, and other essential matters.

Read on for further insight into whether you should consider being the first person to initiate the divorce proceedings or wait for your spouse to do so.

Advantages of Filing for Divorce First

If you are considering filing for divorce, one important decision you will have to make is whether to file first or wait for your spouse to do so. While there are pros and cons to both options, here are some advantages of filing for divorce first:

Securing the Upper Hand in Negotiations

By filing for divorce first, you may be able to secure the upper hand in negotiations with your spouse. This is because the person who files first typically sets the tone for the proceedings and has more control over the timetable. For example, if you want to move the divorce along quickly or have a specific timeline in mind, filing first can help you accomplish that.

Filing first can also give you leverage when it comes to negotiating things like property division, spousal support, and child custody. By being the first to present your case, you may be able to influence the judge’s perception of the situation and get a better outcome in these areas than if you had waited for your spouse to initiate the process.

Choosing the Jurisdiction of the Divorce Proceedings

Another advantage of filing for divorce first is that you can choose the jurisdiction where the proceedings take place. Depending on where you and your spouse live, different states or counties may have different laws regarding divorce and how assets are divided. By filing first, you may be able to select the location where those laws are most in your favor.

This can be especially beneficial in situations where you know your spouse is planning to file soon but hasn’t done so yet. By beating them to the punch and filing first, you can ensure that the case is heard in the jurisdiction you prefer, rather than letting them have control over that decision.

“There is tremendous leverage in having the power of filing first, and many people don’t realize that.” – Laura Wasser

It’s worth noting that while there are advantages to filing for divorce first, it’s not always necessary or the best choice for every situation. Factors like your individual circumstances, your relationship with your spouse, and your goals for the divorce proceedings should all be considered when making this decision.

If you’re unsure whether or not you should file first, it may be helpful to consult with a lawyer who specializes in family law. They can provide guidance on what the best course of action might be based on your unique situation.

“The importance of consulting with an experienced family law attorney cannot be overstated when contemplating the potential complexities involved in initiating–or defending against–a divorce lawsuit.” – Jeffrey A. Landers

The decision of whether or not to file for divorce first is a personal one that will depend on a variety of factors. While there are advantages to being the first to file, it’s important to weigh those benefits against the potential drawbacks and consider what makes the most sense for your specific case.

Disadvantages of Filing for Divorce First

Increased Legal Costs

Filing for divorce can be a costly process, especially if you are the one initiating it. By filing first, you will need to cover the costs associated with drafting and submitting the initial paperwork. Additionally, since your spouse will have to respond to the petition, they may choose to hire an attorney, which can add to the overall legal expenses.

The fees for attorneys can vary by state, but on average, a contested divorce could cost anywhere from $15,000 to $30,000 or more in legal fees alone. Taking into consideration court fees, expert witness fees, and other miscellaneous expenses, the total cost of a divorce can climb even higher.

“While there is no requirement to retain an attorney during a divorce proceeding, individuals who proceed “pro se” (without counsel) frequently find themselves overwhelmed by the rules of procedure, lack of knowledge about key issues, and their own emotional reactions.” -Marilyn Stowe, family law solicitor

Heightened Emotional Distress

Divorce proceedings can often create high levels of emotional distress regardless of who initiates them. However, when you file for divorce first, this can intensify the feelings of stress and anxiety that both parties experience throughout the process.

By taking the lead on the divorce process, you risk increasing tensions between yourself and your spouse. This can lead to bitter arguments and hurtful accusations, making it harder to reach an agreement outside of court. It’s important to remember that while the split might be mutually desired, the breakup of a marriage is still a loss, and emotions on both sides can run high.

“Both spouses know that a divorce is looming, and each person tries to think of the best way to serve their own interests. That level of uncertainty can create tension, and sometimes it can be difficult for both parties to approach each other with compassion or kindness.” -Victoria McCooey, psychotherapist

One of the greatest concerns you might face when considering filing for divorce first is that by doing so, you may amplify conflict between yourself and your spouse while raising costs and increasing uncertainty over what could be a very long, arduous process. It’s important to weigh these factors associated with filing for divorce against those that come from simply waiting or mutually agreeing on this monumental decision.

Impact on Custody and Property Division

If you are considering a divorce, one of the questions that may come to your mind is whether or not you should file for divorce first. While there is no right or wrong answer, it’s important to consider the potential impact this decision could have on child custody and property division.

Potential Effects on Child Custody

When it comes to child custody, filing for divorce first can give you an advantage in some cases. By being the first to file, you have the opportunity to set the tone for negotiations and potentially sway the judge’s opinion in your favor.

In some states, including California, the spouse who files for divorce first may be granted temporary orders for child custody and visitation while the divorce is pending.

Keep in mind that the outcomes of custody battles are ultimately determined by what is in the best interest of the child, regardless of which spouse filed for divorce first. So, even if you do file first, it doesn’t guarantee that you will win custody of your children.

Impact on Property Division

The way that property is divided during a divorce varies from state to state. Some states, like California, use community property laws, which means that all assets and debts acquired during the marriage are considered equally owned by both spouses and must be divided equally upon divorce.

If you live in a community property state like California, filing for divorce first can provide an advantage when it comes to dividing property. This is because the spouse who files first has more time to gather financial documents and information about marital assets before the other spouse does. This can make it easier to present a case in court regarding the value and importance of certain assets.

In other states with equitable distribution laws, the court looks at factors like each spouse’s income and contributions to the marriage when dividing property. In these cases, it may not matter who files for divorce first since the outcome is determined based on several different factors.

“The most important thing you should do if you are contemplating a divorce is gather financial information assets as early as possible.” -Felicity Luckey, Family Law Attorney

In any case, filing for divorce first does not guarantee that you will get everything you want in terms of property division. The outcome still depends on many factors and can vary depending on the state where you live.

The decision of whether or not to file for divorce first depends on your unique situation and goals during the divorce process. It’s important to consult with an experienced family law attorney who can evaluate your case and provide guidance based on your specific needs.

Strategies for Filing for Divorce First

If you are considering filing for divorce, one of the most important decisions you will make is whether to be the first to file. While there is no “right” answer, there are certain advantages to filing first that can give you an advantage in your case. Here are some strategies to consider if you are thinking about being the first to file:

Gathering Evidence

One of the key benefits of filing for divorce first is that it gives you time to gather evidence and build a strong case before your partner has a chance to do the same. This can include financial records, emails or text messages, witness statements, and other documentation that supports your claims. By taking the initiative to collect this information early on, you may be better prepared to negotiate a favorable settlement or present your case in court.

“One of the biggest mistakes people make when getting divorced is not gathering enough information early in the process,” explains attorney Steven N. Peskind. “When you have all the facts at your disposal, you’re better equipped to make strategic decisions.”

Developing a Comprehensive Plan

Filing for divorce first also allows you to take control of the narrative surrounding your divorce and develop a comprehensive plan for moving forward. This may involve deciding how to handle child custody arrangements, property division, spousal support, and other important issues. By laying out your vision for what you hope to achieve in the divorce, you may be able to influence the direction of negotiations and increase your chances of a successful outcome.

“By filing first, you get to dictate the pace and tone of the proceedings,” notes family law expert Lynda J. Robbins. “This can create a sense of momentum that makes it harder for your spouse to deny your requests or otherwise drag out the process.”

Working with Experienced Legal Counsel

If you are considering filing for divorce first, it is essential to work with an experienced family law attorney who can guide you through the process and help you understand your rights and options. Your lawyer can also assist you in gathering evidence, developing a strategy, and negotiating with your spouse’s legal team.

“An experienced attorney can provide valuable guidance on when and how to file for divorce,” explains attorney Andrew A. Bestafka. “They can also help protect your interests and ensure that your case proceeds as smoothly as possible.”

Preparing Financial Documentation

An important aspect of any divorce proceeding is dividing marital assets and debts between the parties. If you file for divorce first, you will have time to prepare comprehensive financial documentation that outlines your income, expenses, investments, and other financial details. This information can be critical in demonstrating your financial situation and making a strong argument for why certain assets should be awarded to you.

“It’s crucial to have all your financial ducks in a row before filing for divorce,” advises financial analyst Stacy L. Bradford. “Knowing where you stand financially can ensure that you get everything you deserve in the settlement.”

Whether or not to file for divorce first is a complex decision that depends on your individual circumstances. By carefully weighing the advantages and disadvantages of taking this step and working closely with your legal counsel, you may be able to achieve your desired outcomes and move on to the next chapter of your life.

Factors to Consider Before Filing for Divorce First

Filing for divorce is never an easy decision and can be extremely stressful. There are many factors that you need to consider before making the final decision – especially if you’re contemplating being the first one to file. Here, we’ll discuss some essential factors that will help you make the right call.

Overall Financial Picture

The financial implications of a divorce can be enormous and long-lasting—especially if one spouse earns significantly more than the other. When considering filing for a divorce, it’s important to have a clear picture of your overall financial situation. You should review all your assets and debts and get specific answers on how they would be split in case of a divorce. In some states, property is automatically divided equally while in others it may depend on when the asset was acquired (before or after marriage) and the level of contribution from each spouse. Thus, getting a competent attorney who can advise you on the laws governing finances and divorce in your jurisdiction is crucial.

In addition to splitting up any assets, spousal support may also come into play. That means the higher earning spouse may be ordered by the court to provide payment to their former partner to help them cover living expenses until they can become financially stable again. The considerations vary depending on individual circumstances; hence evaluating your financial position as a whole before filing for divorce becomes very important.

Impact on Children

Filing for divorce has profound effects on children regardless of age. Research shows that children experience worry, fear, anxiety, sadness, and anger before, during, and after separation. It’s imperative to take the time to assess how this major life change could affect them and the steps you can take to minimize that impact. If possible, both parents should speak with a therapist or child psychologist to discuss how best to break the news to children and minimize their distress. Furthermore, parents should prioritize the emotional wellbeing of their children by avoiding disparaging remarks about each other in front of them. In general, you must take into account your children’s emotions before filing for a divorce.

Level of Conflict with Partner

The decision to file for divorce can stir up complex feelings and emotions between the spouses involved. Yet, it’s important to assess if the animosity and hostility level is so high that mediation wouldn’t be possible if you file first. When deciding whether to initiate proceedings, consider the response you will receive from your spouse and whether they may react violently, possibly prompting a restraining order status. Often times, cooperating to avoid litigation regarding assets allows both parties to save on legal fees and reduce bitterness levels post-divorce. On the other hand, if there exists a history of abuse, safety concerns, substance abuse issues, or one partner hiding assets, delaying action could exacerbate an already bad situation.

Timing and Strategic Considerations

Filing for divorce is not just an issue of emotionally readiness; timing is also crucial due to multiple legal nuances. For example, it makes sense to file during periods when there are fewer legal actions happening in the court system (fewer filings happen around major holidays). Filing early might ensure that you have more control over the entire process since being the first to file sets the tone for the whole procedure. However, some experts advise that it may be advantageous to wait until after certain events such as a mortgage closing, stock vesting date, or inheritance receiving date before initiating any motions. These details will vary greatly depending on individual circumstances and it’s always a good idea to consult a family law attorney. Timing’s importance cannot be overstated.

“When we face major life changes, we must gather and organize as much information as possible. Educating yourself on divorce laws and preparing a separation plan before filing for divorce can help you gain the upper hand.” – Michael C. Craven

If you’re considering filing for divorce, these factors should be carefully assessed. Meeting with an experienced professional in family law could make all the difference so that you have the support and guidance required during such a stressful time.

Frequently Asked Questions