Open marriages, also known as polyamorous relationships, have been gaining acceptance in modern society. Although this unconventional relationship style offers freedom and flexibility, there are concerns about its stability.
Couples who opt for an open marriage agree to pursue romantic or sexual relationships outside their primary partnership with transparent communication and mutual agreement. However, the consequences are not always positive. The idea of sharing a partner can be overwhelming for some individuals, leading to jealousy and trust issues that could result in divorce.
“The fact remains that open marriages aren’t for everyone. They require a level of maturity, self-awareness, and emotional intelligence that not every person possesses.” – Lauren Vinopal
The question on many people’s minds is what percentage of open marriages actually end up in divorce? Is it lower than traditional monogamous marriages, or does the “open” aspect contribute to more breakups?
In this article, we will reveal shocking truths about the rate of divorce in open marriages by citing scientific studies and statistics. Regardless of whether you’re considering entering into an open marriage or just curious about their dynamics, continue reading to discover what lies ahead.
Table of Contents
Understanding Open Marriage
Defining Open Marriage
An open marriage refers to a non-monogamous relationship where both partners mutually agree to have sexual relationships with other people outside their primary partnership. This means that both individuals are free to pursue extramarital affairs without violating the boundaries of trust, honesty, and respect established within their own relationship.
It is important to note that an open marriage does not mean cheating or adultery, as both partners have given explicit permission for each other to explore their sexuality with others. Trust and clear communication are essential components of successful open marriages, which require ongoing discussion, mutual consent, and conscious decision-making from both parties.
“Open marriage doesn’t necessarily lead to misery any more than monogamy leads to happiness.” – Dan Savage
The Evolution of Open Marriage
Open marriage has been around in various forms throughout human history, but it gained prominence within Western culture during the sexual revolution of the 1960s and 1970s. Influenced by feminist critiques of traditional gender roles and sex-negative attitudes towards female sexuality, many couples began exploring alternatives to conventional monogamy.
The concept of open marriage was discussed publicly in books like “Open Marriage: A New Life Style For Couples” by Nena and George O’Neill and “The Ethical Slut” by Dossie Easton and Janet Hardy, which presented non-monogamy as a viable form of committed relationship. The rise of online dating and social media platforms also provided new avenues for couples interested in consensual non-monogamy to connect with potential partners.
Despite its growing visibility, open marriage still faces significant social stigma and misunderstanding. Many people view open marriages as immoral or doomed to fail, believing that they undermine the sanctity of traditional marriage and threaten the stability of families.
“It’s great to be able to tell your partner that they can satisfy their curiosity without violating a bond or relationship with you. Open communication is important so as not to create feelings of shame or guilt.” – Yvonne Thomas, psychologist
Moreover, research on open marriages is limited, making it difficult to draw conclusive evidence about their success rates or impact on individuals’ well-being over time. Some studies suggest that open marriages may have higher divorce rates than traditional marriages, while others show that consensual non-monogamy can increase intimacy, trust, and personal growth for couples.
The reality is that every couple must define their own boundaries and values when it comes to their relationship, whether they choose monogamy or non-monogamy. Communication, respect, and understanding are key factors in any successful partnership, regardless of its structure.
“In many ways, an open marriage is actually a very structured marriage… The opportunity for sex doesn’t necessarily make people stray; we love and honour our partners and don’t want to lose them.” – Jenny Block, author of “Open: Love, Sex and Life in an Open Marriage”
Open marriage is a complex and nuanced topic that deserves thoughtful consideration and respectful dialogue. While it may not be the right choice for everyone, those who enter into consensual non-monogamy can find fulfilling experiences, greater self-awareness, and deeper connections with their partners and themselves.
Debunking Common Myths About Open Marriage
Myth: Open Marriage Is Just Another Term for Cheating
Many people believe that open marriage is just an excuse to cheat, but this couldn’t be further from the truth. An open marriage involves both partners agreeing to allow each other to have sexual relationships with other people, as long as they are honest and transparent about their actions.
“Open marriages can work if both parties agree on the rules and boundaries of what’s fair game beforehand,” explains Dr. Holly Richmond, a licensed marriage and family therapist. “Cheating is when one person goes behind the other’s back without their knowledge or permission.”
It’s important to note that cheating violates trust and undermines the foundation of a healthy relationship. In contrast, couples in an open marriage make agreements about what is acceptable behavior outside of their primary relationship.
“Open marriage is not just another way of having affairs, it’s a legitimate form of romantic relationship and commitment.” -Dr. Pepper Schwartz
Myth: Open Marriages Are Doomed to Fail
There is a misconception that open marriages are inevitably doomed to fail because they go against traditional values and social norms. However, research shows that open marriages can be just as successful as monogamous marriages.
According to a study published in The Journal of Sex Research, couples in consensual non-monogamous relationships reported similar levels of satisfaction, commitment, trust, and passion compared to monogamous couples. Furthermore, other studies suggest that open marriages could even promote positive outcomes such as increased communication, empathy, and personal growth.
Of course, this does not mean that every open marriage is guaranteed to succeed. As with any type of relationship, open marriages require strong communication skills, mutual respect, and a deep understanding of one’s partner’s needs.
“Open relationships are built upon trust, honesty, and transparency. When managed correctly with mutually agreed-upon boundaries in place, they can be healthy alternatives to traditional monogamy.” -Dr. Jenni Skyler
It is important to separate fact from fiction when it comes to the topic of open marriage. While these types of relationships may not be for everyone, those who choose this path should not automatically be labeled as cheaters or doomed for failure. Instead, couples in an open marriage should be allowed to create their own rules, communicate openly and honestly, and pursue the type of relationship that works best for them.
The Impact of Open Marriage on Relationships
Open marriage is a form of non-monogamous relationship in which both partners agree to have sexual and emotional relationships with other people outside their primary relationship. This type of arrangement can have both positive and negative effects on the couples involved.
Increased Communication and Trust
Open marriages require a high level of communication between partners to ensure that they are both comfortable and happy with the arrangements made for each side. This leads to an increase in trust, as each partner must rely on the other to be open and honest about their feelings, needs and wants.
“Fostering clear communication is essential to making open relationships work,” sex educator Tristan Taormino says. “It’s important to establish clear rules at the beginning and consistently check in with your partner(s) along the way.”
Potential for Jealousy and Insecurity
Given the nature of open marriages, it can be difficult for some individuals to manage or overcome feelings of jealousy, insecurity or inadequacy when compared to another person. It is important for all parties involved to set clear boundaries and communicate openly and honestly if any uncomfortable emotions arise.
“Jealousy isn’t something people should hide from,” advises Dr. Tammy Nelson, a sex and relationship expert. “Rather, explore what it means and where it comes from so you learn how to express yourself appropriately.”
Positive Effects on Sexual Intimacy
An open marriage may lead to increased sexual intimacy among couples, as exploring new experiences could help rekindle physical passions within the primary relationship. Additionally, openness to expressing sexual desires might inspire both partners to embrace newfound fantasies together.
Sociologist Eric Anderson suggests that: “By giving one another permission to explore outside of monogamous sex, but doing so from within a tightly defined boundary and with emotional support for one another, many open couples manage to strengthen their bonds.”
Potential for Emotional Disconnection
There is always the potential for an open marriage to create emotional distance between partners who feel disconnected by the sexual relationships they have outside their primary relationship. It’s important that both parties acknowledge the risk and work together to balance connection in the relationship.
“Sometimes people can struggle with separating casual sex from attachment,” says Taormino. “It’s important to be mindful of things like consent, communication and any agreements you might have with other intimate partners while seeking intimacy outside your partnership.”
There are both positive and negative effects of engaging in an open marriage. Communication is key to building trust and managing feelings of jealousy or insecurity when exploring new levels of physical and emotional intimacy. Despite this, it is also crucial that all parties agree on clear boundaries and actively work to maintain emotional connections with each other throughout the process.
Factors That Increase the Risk of Divorce in Open Marriages
Open marriages were once stigmatized, but more people are embracing them as a means to explore non-monogamous relationships. However, they come with their own set of challenges, including increased risk of divorce. Research indicates that open marriages have a higher likelihood of ending in separation when compared to traditional marital arrangements. This article highlights some factors responsible for this trend.
Lack of Clear Boundaries and Guidelines
In open marriages, it is crucial to establish clear boundaries and guidelines that govern interactions with other partners. Failing to establish these parameters can lead to misunderstandings, feelings of jealousy or betrayal, and increased insecurity. The absence of ground rules means there’s no reference point for addressing issues that arise between couples.
A research study conducted by YouGov indicated that 29% of individuals who had been in open marriages reported that they regretted choosing an open marriage rather than monogamy. A significant percentage of these respondents attributed their regrets to inadequate communication and unclear boundaries. It was suggested that partners entering into open marriages thoroughly discuss their expectations, values, and concerns before making changes to their relationship contracts to improve clarity on all fronts.
Difficulty Managing Emotional Intimacy with Multiple Partners
Most people in open marriages seek emotional intimacy from several partners concurrently. Emotions such as love, attachment, trust, and support are often challenging to split evenly amongst multiple individuals. Polyamorous relationships increase complexity because there’s a need to manage emotional affairs alongside sexual ones.
“Jealousy crept up on me as my partner started spending more time with one of our mutual lovers,” shared Vicky*, a Brooklyn-based writer, in an op-ed piece about her experience of being in an open marriage. “I found myself struggling not to lash out at either of them, all while trying not to ignore the turmoil I felt.”
In such instances, jealousy and insecurity can arise, leading to conflict in open marriages. Couples seeking to engage in non-monogamous relationships must establish strategies for mitigating these risks if they wish to prevent emotional affairs from eroding their primary partnership.
What percent of open marriages end in divorce? While no concrete figure exists, several factors make most experts believe that it’s higher than traditional marriage rates. So before jumping into an open marriage arrangement, individuals should ensure they’ve thoroughly discussed communication, boundaries, sex, intimacy, and emotions with their partners.
Success Stories of Open Marriages: Is It Possible?
Overcoming Jealousy and Insecurity
In any relationship, jealousy and insecurity can be major hurdles to overcome, especially in an open marriage where the boundaries may not be as clear as in a traditional monogamous relationship. But it is possible to successfully navigate these challenges.
One couple who has been married for over 20 years recently opened up about their successful open marriage. They noted that “jealousy is a natural feeling,” but it’s important to communicate those feelings openly and honestly with your partner so you can work through them together.
“In order to make it work, we need to have trust, respect, open communication and honesty,” they said. “We talk things out frequently, take nothing personal and support each other’s freedom.”
The key takeaway here is that open marriages require even more communication and honesty than traditional relationships do in order to build and maintain trust, which is essential to making it work.
Building Stronger Relationships Through Open Marriage
Contrary to popular belief, open marriages can strengthen relationships rather than destroy them. By having the freedom to explore other connections outside of the marriage, couples are often able to reduce stress and strengthen their bond.
A study published in the Journal of Sex Research found that couples in open marriages reported “higher levels of satisfaction, trust, commitment and passionate love” compared to those in monogamous relationships.
Another couple shared their success story after opening up their marriage. They described how the experience brought them closer together and allowed them to appreciate one another on a deeper level.
“Opening our marriage actually led us towards each other,” they said. “The additional relationships have helped highlight what it was that we value and love about each other.”
In essence, by exploring relationships outside of the marriage, couples can learn more about themselves and what they truly want from their partner.
The Importance of Honesty and Communication
We cannot stress enough how important honesty and communication are in open marriages. It’s crucial for both partners to be transparent about their intentions, feelings, and desires. According to relationship therapist Esther Perel, “the most important thing is communication, communication, communication.”
Another couple opened up about their successful open marriage and emphasized the importance of transparency. They noted that it’s crucial to talk openly about potential new connections and set boundaries together as a team – which means listening and respecting your partner’s limits as much as you communicate and express your own.
“We don’t keep secrets or try to hide our activities. We believe that full disclosure builds trust,” they said. “By sharing everything, we have been able to grow emotionally and intellectually while becoming closer than ever before.”
This level of openness and honesty takes work, but ultimately leads to greater trust, intimacy, and satisfaction in the relationship.
In conclusion, while there is no data on the specific percentage of open marriages that end in divorce, many couples have found success in this alternative relationship style by prioritizing honest communication, building trust, and setting boundaries together. As with any type of relationship, what works for one couple may not work for another, but understanding these key pillars of open marriages can help you embark on a successful journey towards deeper romantic fulfillment.Expert Tips on How to Make Open Marriage Work
Establishing Clear Boundaries and Guidelines
Having clear boundaries and guidelines is one of the most important factors in making an open marriage work. Both partners need to communicate with each other about what they are comfortable with and what their limitations are when it comes to seeing other people.
An article by Psychology Today emphasizes that couples who have successful open marriages always establish very strict rules for communication and honesty, especially during sexual encounters with others. For example, some couples might say that they can only have sex with a third-party if both parties are present, or if permission has been explicitly granted beforehand.
In addition to having strict rules around physical intimacy, some couples may also choose to establish emotional boundaries as well. This could involve discussions regarding how much time either party spends with another person and whether or not monogamous feelings should be discussed between the two partners regularly.
Being Honest and Transparent with Partners
One of the fundamental factors behind any successful relationship is being upfront and truthful with your partner about everything. If you’re going into an open marriage, this is even more critical because there are so many different possibilities involved with opening up your relationship.
The publication Healthline states that every type of non-monogamy has its unique set of challenges. Therefore, couples need to face those challenges openly and honestly, without resentment towards one another. When breaking down why open relationships fail, therapist Tammy Nelson often points out that it’s usually surrounding issues such as jealousy, dishonesty, or poor communication that causes them to break apart.
Sometimes couples use an “open door” policy where they stay ongoing conversations regarding needs, wants, and boundaries. This ensures that everyone feels heard, supported, and reassured throughout the process. There are also apps available, such as Infinity Relationships or Happy Couple, which help with communication and resolve conflicts.
Having an open marriage can sound tempting for those who thrive on adventure, sexuality, or personal freedom, but it requires dedication, work, honesty, and respect for oneself, one’s partner, and any other party involved.
Frequently Asked Questions
What is an open marriage?
An open marriage is a type of relationship where both partners agree to have sexual and/or romantic relationships with other people outside of the marriage. This can be done with or without the knowledge of the partner and can vary in terms of the rules and boundaries set by the couple.
What are the reasons for choosing an open marriage?
There are various reasons why couples choose to have an open marriage. Some do it to explore their sexuality, others to add excitement and novelty to their relationship, and others to address issues like mismatched libido. It can also be a way for some couples to maintain their commitment while fulfilling their individual needs.
What are the challenges couples face in open marriages?
Open marriages can be challenging as they require a high level of communication, trust, and honesty. Couples may struggle with jealousy, insecurity, and managing their time and priorities. They may also face social stigma and judgement from society, friends, and family. It can be difficult to navigate the complex emotions and dynamics involved in open marriages.
What is the divorce rate for open marriages?
There is not much research on the divorce rate for open marriages, but some studies suggest that the divorce rate for non-monogamous couples is higher than that of monogamous couples. However, this could be due to various factors such as social stigma and lack of legal recognition rather than the nature of the relationship itself.
What factors contribute to the success or failure of open marriages?
Factors that can contribute to the success of open marriages include strong communication, mutual respect, trust, and a clear understanding of boundaries and expectations. On the other hand, factors that can lead to the failure of open marriages include jealousy, lack of communication, dishonesty, and violating agreed-upon boundaries. The success or failure of an open marriage ultimately depends on the individuals involved and their unique circumstances.
What are the benefits of an open marriage?
The benefits of an open marriage can include increased sexual and emotional exploration, a deeper understanding of oneself and one’s partner, improved communication skills, and a stronger sense of trust and commitment. It can also provide a way for individuals to pursue their individual desires and needs while maintaining a loving and committed partnership.